All My Life

2009-06-05T09:23:00.000-07:00

I MOVED TO neverendingwishes.blogspot.com COS THIS BLOG IS DEAD !

ill say , my gdbyes

2009-03-12T20:41:00.000-07:00

im off to ncc unit camp . will be back in three days time . ADIOS BEYBEH !

2009-03-07T15:45:00.001-08:00

MY BLOGG OF FEARS .

emotions

2009-03-07T15:38:00.000-08:00

I DON'T BELIEVE IN TRUE FRIENDS ,
I DON'T BELIEVE IN TRUE LOVE .
BASICALLY , I DON'T BELIEVE IF ITS ALL TRUE ,
YET .

ill let my heart do the talking .

2009-02-28T20:22:00.000-08:00

its been TWO silent days ive not been texting bby . its not tht i dun wanna rpl or talk to him . its just .. god , i need time ! im so sorrey baby . i know u wanna help . but i need to go thru this on my own . only when yur ready to help me .. then we'll go thru it together . i wanna be alone . im done blogging . sorrey .

god , please hear my prayers ..

2009-02-28T06:45:00.000-08:00

alot of things have been happening .. such as , family matters , friends and such . but the only thing that has kept me thinking abt everday and tht have kept me in silent thru this while , is my family .. which no one cares abt one another . my family have longed drifted apart . we havnt had much family gatherings , talks and such . esp after the 'incident' . my parents doesnt trust me . they dont trust me on what i do ,, what i wanna achieve and where i wanna go . cos of one mistake , which , i should not elaborate . only i , and ALLAH knows . he knows how i really feel and what im actually going thru . even if i were to tell it to somebody or to boyf , they wldnt understand what condition im in . cos theres just certain things i wld never tell . my life is a mystery , full of secrets . even if i wannted to say out , what ive been keeping thru out these years , somethgs will tell me not to . i believe , believe that i shld trust myself than others . and tht , what i am , and what i hide , shld only be kept to myself . each and every day i go thru each and every life's journey , i grow . i grew to be someone much more mature .standing for my rights , for what is right and wrong . mature to decide .. and carefully resolve such situations and not to ponder on thgs too long all bcos , 'yur too young , and you make stupid silly decisions .'

c'mon alyn ..yur growing up . stop being childish and think wisely and stop asking why thgs like ths happens .. learn more from every mistakes made . makesure not to repeat .. that is what i believe an angel wld tell me .

but ive been doing silly mistakes here and there . but i know im growing .. and im learning .but i know ive been making alot of sins .. alot .. and truthfully , i didnt touched my al'quran or even perform my regular prayers or even not at all for abt two months . im creating alot of sins . sins i believe the devil wld laugh at cos they are happy enuf to see me do the sinful things . ya allah alyn .. taubat luh . now then ive realised . maafkan luh semua kesalahan ku .. i think this is the return for my behaviour . i will repent . insaf .. tho i wanted bby to help me .. but i know his not ready . thts the thing i wanted to confess to him . i want to repent . wid his help . but i feel his too yound minded to help . cos what i know . guys are the easy easy come and go type of ppl . they dun care . thats why i told bby , only when his ready , to stand up and know for what is right and wrong , and cld think wisely , maybe he cld help me . but ill give him time to grow and learn just like i do . now then i realise how sinful ive become . im very sinful . i shall not say what ,why and how . tht , i shall keep it to myself .. i am ashamed when i say these thgs to ppl . esp if u say u wanna repent bcos u did smthg sinful . but i just want you ppl to know and realise now . i nvr want ppl to follow what im gg thru . it really took all of the courage and guts to post this and share my thoughts . seeing devils around is no joke . this is the time , now , everyday , i wld want god's help .

i shall repent .

hello .

2009-02-25T05:08:00.000-08:00

so much for blogging . its been eons since i last blog . cant really imagine how many months since i last blogged . MONTHS MAN ! hehe . didnt blog is one thing , and just have sooooo much to blog abt . cos so much thgs have happened . including sec 1 camp , school , sec1s and such . darn . i miss sec 1 cmp . i miss my marvels . anw , im tired . not so much in the mood to blog . maybe next time ? just wanted to say i had a great time during sec1 camp .

SEC ONE CAMP ENDED , ALYN .

HELLO

2008-12-18T05:39:00.000-08:00

HELLO PPL . IM BACCCCCCCCCKKK FROM INDOO ALRD . WILL UPDATE ALL THE STUFFS I DID DRING HOLIDAYS . ONE WEEK TRIP IN INDO , NCC & TODAYS SWIMMING ! WILL POST ABOUT IT SOON , REASON BEING IM TOO TIRED AND LAZYYY . TAKE CARE PPL (:

are u ?

2008-12-04T04:58:00.000-08:00

im tired tired tired . just imagine doing work at home where yur house just looks likes a factory . my mum makcik all want to do somethg to prepare for hari raya haji . as if its hari raye puase . lol . i tink its for masjid ke ape tah . not that sure . soooo , at home , everybody in the hse made lontong , tempe , krisik , serunding and prun cake . & many2 more actualli . peeeeeeennnaaaaat oiiii ! and i was incharge of krisik and prun cake . prun cake best ! but after awhile , u feel like not eating it anymore or even feel dizzy with the smell . jelak like that . now , actualli not yet finished with all the cooking where its alrd 905pm . will finish late , should be . half of the day till now in the kichen cooking . alarhaaiii . penat dong ! anw , holidays have been boring for me so far . but will be going on vacation on monday for two weeks . acuali sunday night , which is mlm lebaran . kayy , now break time , but ltr continue again . my headaches starting again . and my nose will definitely bleed it truly hurts so much . damn . only God knows how i felt .

to me , evrrybody is invisible in my life .
except for the boths of us . me & you .
and you are the only one ill always need ,
cuz yur my sunshine , your my light , you'll always be .
even tho u bring the rain
I don't care what harm it does
I don't care what it says
I'll love you anyway
i love you , baby . but i donnoe if u appreciate me .

mum : alyn back to work

Hanya Kau Yg Mampu

2008-12-01T22:59:00.000-08:00

Ku cuba redakan relung hati
Bayangmu yang berlalu pergi
Terlukis di dalam kenangan
Bebas bermain di hatiku

Cerita tentang masa lalu
Cerita tentang kau dan aku
Kini tinggal hanya kenangan
Kau abadi dalam hatiku

Harusnya takkan ku biarkan engkau pergi
Membuat ku terpuruk rasa ingin mati
Derita yang mendera kapan akan berakhir
Hanya engkau yang mampu taklukkan hatiku

Cerita tentang masa lalu
Cerita tentang kau dan aku
Kini tinggal hanya kenangan
Kau abadi dalam hatiku

Harusnya takkan ku biarkan engkau pergi
Membuat ku terpuruk rasa ingin mati
Derita yang mendera kapan akan berakhir
Hanya engkau yang mampu taklukkan hatiku

Aku cinta ooohhhhhh
Aku cinta oooooooo
Aku cinta ooohhhhhh
Aku cinta oooooooo

Harusnya takkan ku biarkan engkau pergi
Membuat ku terpuruk rasa ingin mati
Derita yang mendera kapan akan berakhir
Hanya engkau yang mampu taklukkan hatiku

Aku cinta ooohhhhhh
Aku cinta oooooooo
Aku cinta ooohhhhhh
Aku cinta oooooooo

Hanya engkau yang mampu taklukkan hatiku
ooooo

the change

2008-12-01T20:57:00.000-08:00

u did it again . why ehk must it always be like this all the time . tkle ke kite just solve the problem , learn frm it not do it again ? good luh , do it again luh .. one fight after another . war after war . slalu gtu . PENAT LUH ! from now , alyn will change . to show it to bby . but how to ? when i chnge , its all bcos of u ? each time the war between us starts , ill be kurang ajar to u & talk as if ur not anymore my boyfriend . i know it hurts u when im talking to u in that manner , i realise what my actions are . but your actions stops me from wanting to change like the old person i used to be . what shld i do to make u change again and let me hold the old u ? haix . i dun like to fight . i hate fighting wid u cos it makes me want to stop evrythg . c'mon luh b ... pls think abt it . your not making thgs better for me . i know yur tying . but starting a war after another won't budge yurslf to try . a person is like a meter . when u learn smthg in life you'll definitely want to move on , but if smthg bad happens , either yur actions , words or whatever it is that involves hurting someone or yurslf , you'll taking steps back then u have to move forward again . isnt it a waste of time ? also means waste time fighting . okey , i donnoe if u understand or not , tp itu je i nak luahkan okey . don't ever tink that ur a bad person and ill never ever forgive u . yur not only the bad person , evrybody is . everybdy has their own guilt in their life . evrybody did wrong thgs , nobody's perfect and evrybody is not always gd , u know . we are learning humans . where evry thg happens for a reason . its whether or whether not u know what its trying to tell u . haissh . & just put these in yur head tht ill always forgive u as long as im still alive . yur tht last man for me . may we last forever (: okey im done .

conversation

2008-12-01T02:04:00.000-08:00

hello ppl ! huahuahua ! :D i was alil board and hyper , so i thought i wanna write smthg . haha . so basically , day was fine , nthg bad happened . except that today i was actualli suppose to meet bby but then tk jd cos his parents not working . sad kan ? hehe . well anw , the thg tht caught me smiling in the mrng was when my mum and dad actualli asked about bby when we were watching a philippino movie (: so , here's how the conversation went ;

mum : ( came with our breakfast in her hands then put on the table ) Kak , arent u gg out today ? u said u were yesterday ?

alyn : tk jadi luh mummy .

mum : ey2 , asl plak ?

alyn :( just kept quiet and concentrate on watching movie . )
papa : gg out with who ? khairul kan ?

alyn : how u know ? hehe .

papa : i know everythg luh . no need to lie to me . ( with evil smile ) then why tak klua ngan dier ? gaduh luh tuh . abeh papa tak dgr pon hp bunyi dari td ?

alyn : ey2 , takd pape luh pa . dier blom bgon je . hehe . then lgy pon kite tk klua cos his parents not working .

mum : ouh , so parents dier blm tahu psl kakak ?

alyn : tahu . sumer tahu .

papa : da tahu ? then dier da introduce kakak kat ibubapa die , bile kakak nye turn nak intro kat kite plak ?

alyn : hehe . see first . when im ready (:

mum : he seems like a nice guy u know . u shld let papa know more abt him .

alyn : okey , insya Allah . (smile ) * then phone bunyi *

papa : wahaii ... panjang umur die !

then the whole family in the living room tease me . bgos luh . hehe .
so , thts how it went (: btw , i was browsing thru the net , then found a hilarious malaysian videosong . go youtube and click " Bila Di Sekolah Dulu " its very very super funny ! should watch it okey . ill promise u its funny . PROMISE ! hehe (:
okey , i got to go . imm off to MALAYSIA SHOPPING ! ill blog soon

randomise - new born

2008-11-28T14:00:00.000-08:00

had a new born anak sdare in the hse . my cuzzie just gave birth ! woooohooooo ! she thought of naming her , Dayang Sayang Bte D'zul Hamzah . nice kan ? haha . got sayang in the name . best nyeeeeeeeee . hehe . congrats to kak tisha wid her new born bby girl !! see u soon bby dayang ((:

bad dream

2008-11-28T13:41:00.000-08:00

now its exactly 541am in the morning . i woke up so early today . woke up at 4 . lols . am tired but cnt slp cos kept thinking and dreaming abt stuffs . weird & scaryy . had sooo many bad dreams ths week . i just cldnt undrstand why . why ehk ? each night , there will always be up to 2 to 4 bad dreams each night . and ill always wake up 4 to 6 times . my sister sleeping pon she can say im crazy . i just cldnt sleep . but if i do , ill end up having these weird dreams again then sometimes ill end up crying when i wake up . but actuali weird luh . cos theres this one dream , where i dream abt myslf saying , " i have to leave , but if i had all the time of my life , i would want to spend it all with u . " i didnt quite sure to who i was saying it to or to who i was referring to . cos i didnt realli quite remember the face .

holiday

2008-11-20T05:15:00.000-08:00

will update about class bbq , bby & shooting soon okey ? maybe tmr ? take care ppl ! love bby ((:

KHAIRUL ANWAR

2008-11-17T05:25:00.000-08:00

FINALLY ! the blog skins & blog features are all finished . fuhhh ! tired okey ! but im satisfied (: today ehk ? had lottsa fun with the kiidds ! i mean , baby's cousins & siblings . actualli , if i had to listen to what baby said earlier , i wouldnt have ths mucccch fun ! hahas . actualli , ths was what happened , baby wanted to meet me tday . so was mad at him in the mrng at first *inside story* no nid to know . then met him right beside sch . cos cldnt go around walking on my own with a bloody nose . didnt know why actuali tht it was bleeding . then baby came to the rescue then met him beside sch afta meeting . tros he decided to go & eat cos he actualli knew i didnt eat yest . ( good thg u made yur choice & finally made up yur mind ! ) hehe . then after that we didnt know where to go . then he said , we go "walk2" at my house after walk2 at tm . but then i was kinda scared cos mummy & papa not working today . & still circling around tm . i dont mind mummy see us , tp the thg is papa . haha . i havnt introduced baby to him yet . haha ! well , anw . then i tot maybe we cldnt singgah tempat bby's grandparent's place to see his siblings & cousins . cos i miss them ! then da gtu , we sat down under the void deck till group lelaki semua dtg , maen rugby . violent u ! then afterwards , me & baby sat kat plyground untill group pompan plak yang dtg . then , to my suprise , the first person who came running to me was beloved Syahirah (: baby's cousin . hehe . sooo the kecoh ! then came fiqah , syiqin and then yah . they were adorable ! so the peramah ! like baby ! hehe . first all of them maen game masing2 . group pompan & laki separate . tros raining ! alamak ! then they decided to go to the void deck & continued playing . me & bby just followed . tros adek nizam ke sape tah came out of the idea of playing " ALI POM " . haha . da lama sei tak maen game tuh . then the girls group invited me to play ali pom with them . haha . first i was shy . then syiqin was saying " Pleeeaaaaseeee " with her cute face . so i didnt want to upset her . then i decided to tag along . hehes . was supperrr superrrr fun playing ali pom with them . lgy2 when baby & i hiding together , skali ade this one cute & little cute girl following us . hehe . syiqin was always with me all the way thru ali pom game . cute ! haha . then she ask2 me so many qns abt baby . sorrey ehk bby , kite tk mengumpat . hehe . then everytime when baby made syiqin upset , she'll slap him ! hahahaahahah ! i was laughing all the way when bby asked " u suke dier sepak i ? " then i said , " takp luh . dier takp , cos she's yur cousin , sepak bnyk2 . " haha . u shld have seen baby's face after that . lol (:

then lps tuh the game got boring cos satu satu majok sbab kite sume sembunyi jauh2 . haha ! esp adek zaidan . hehe . cute luh zaidan ! just like baby . (: then da gtu , after rain stop , we went to the playground again . tros next game was captain's ball . im in adek nizam's team . & we scored the most ! wohhhoo ! tp nazrul luh ! haiyaa . asyik misskn score . hehe . takp . at least we enjoy ehk ? hehe . i realli need to say ths , but it was kinda funny when baby told me how to differentiate btwn the twins , nazri & nazmi . then baby said , " nazri dier yg mature & gelap , then nazmi yg si lembut & mcm gay skit ! " hahahhahahahahaha ! i was laughing like hell . till i got soooo hyperrrr . haha . playing captain's ball was great but abit rough till fights happen . *inside story* no need to know . overall , the kidds realli made my day . treat them like my own siblings . love them alot ! these are all the names of the kids i treasure with love ;

- Nizam - Bariyah - Zaidan
- Irah - Fiqah - Syiqin
- Nazrul - Nazri - Nazmi
- Iwan & - Irfan

with Love ♥
alyn . [ Bby , i love you ! ]

IN PROGRESS

2008-11-16T00:29:00.000-08:00

MY BLOG HAS INCOMPLETE FEATURES . ITS UNDER CONSTRUCTION . SORREY FOR THE INCONVINEANCE . BLOG SKIN WILL BE IN PROPER BY 930PM . THANKS & SORREY ONCE AGAIN .

smthg happened

2008-11-15T22:46:00.001-08:00

had been having these vomit feeling evry time i get up from bed . all of the sudden . weird right ? hrmm . well , didnt had a great week . missed baby alrd . just told him what's wrong with me . hope he understands . stiap kesalahan ade hukum nye . well , didnt really had enuf rest . my heart & back hurts . only God knows how i felt . im not torturing myslef . its just how the body systems reacts . wondered how huh ? sometimes i wonder how the reactives in the body system can actualli hurt us . its all chemicals in the body kan ? well , anw . i know im talking crap . hrm , had been having nose bleed often . sometimes 2 to 3 times a day when my bad headaches starts filling in . its the worst feeling ever . & when it bleeds , it wont stop . well , stop luhh . but itll be long . theres ths one time , i was staying up the whole night , while doing smthg for baby's bday or probably drawing smthg , skali i didnt realise that my nose bleed . i only realise when i saw a red stain on the floor . i tot it was the crayons i used , probably i accidentally drew it on the floor .cos my eyes were kinda blur . tgok benda laen , laen yg aku namekan . but then what i tot was wrong . it was liquid & it smelt like blood & smelt smthg bloodish near my nose . i stood up , & wanted to take a look in the mirror . then realised my nose was bleeding . actualli stange . weird . then abg saw my nose bleed he went to send me to the doctors . doc said *inside story* . only baby knows . shhh .

random

2008-11-15T02:02:00.000-08:00

okey. im now tired. tired of evrythg . tired of quarelling with baby . bt his making me ths way & smtimes making thgs harder 4 the both of us . im tired & sick to get up so borrowed bro's psp to post ths short post . TIRED & SICK

bad week

2008-11-14T23:34:00.000-08:00

well , as usual . its a saturday . nthg mucch to do . except went for a run with doc in the mrng since they cancelled the run at stadium . woke up at 530 in the morning , went to bathe . then out to run . after that , went home at 7 when the sun rose . then took a bathe again . all i could do was sit stare & think . i cldnt tell u the truth . u ask me , " beh tak dpt jmpe bby ? " i cldnt ans anythg . all i cld say was , " bkn aje bsok , mon tak dpt jmpe . bsok , lusa , hari keesoknya hingga dua minggu tak dpt jmpe . " tp since u were busy on monday , i cldnt see u . only on that day was the only day i cld see u . after that ill be unavailable as my 'stitching day' is drawing near . itll be on the 20th . mon was the only day u cld have see me . tp since yur busy , i cldnt help but accept it . sorrey i wasnt able to tell u ealier , the thruth was , i didnt want anyone to know . but thgs turned out to be different to what i expected . i shld have told u in the first place . i know , im wrong . take care of yur siblings , my precious darlings , NIZAM , YAH & ZAIDAN . i miss them . goodbye .

...

2008-11-14T23:18:00.000-08:00

Ku akui ku sangat sangat menginginkan mu
Tapi kini kusadari ku diantara kalian
Aku tak mengerti ini semua harus terjadi

Ku akui ku sangat sangat mengharapkan mu
Tapi kini ku sadar ku tak akan bisa
Aku tak mengerti ini semua harus terjadi

Lupakan aku kembali padanya
Aku bukan siapa siapa untukmu
Ku cintaimu tak berarti bahwa
ku harus memilikimu slamanya

Ku akui ku sangat sangat menginginkan mu
Tapi kini kusadari ku diantara kalian
Aku tak mengerti ini semua harus terjadi

Lupakan aku kembali padanya
Aku bukan siapa siapa untukmu
Ku cintaimu tak berarti bahwa
Ku harus memilikimu slamanya

Aku tak mengerti ini semua harus terjadi

Lupakan aku kembali padanya
Aku bukan siapa siapa untukmu
Ku cintaimu tak berarti bahwa
Ku harus memilikimu slamanya

shooting

2008-11-14T04:23:00.000-08:00

; BOOOYAH ! hehe .

basically , today im supperrr hyper ! hehe . today had ncc shooting . but then went yishun SAFRA for shooting late cos i had somethg on . actualli i was afraid to go on my own but no choice , i was late so told them to go first . but then lucky bby anta me at interchange . cos he knows i dun like to be on my own . then da gtu , he accompanied me till i board bus 969 . so i travelled in the bus alone without baby cos he had to take care of adek zaidan . ( sorrey adek cos kakak cant be there ) . i travelled on an half an hour trip to yishun , probably mooore than half an hour . it was definitely a long journey . dgr2 lagu smbl termenung . then guess what ??? i miss the bus stop where i had to stop becos i was day dreaming ! termenung nye psl sbab tuh telajak ! alamak ! but then luckky it was only one bus stop . then had to walk all the way to the previous busstop . then reached at 410 . was quite late actualli . then shooting wasnt tht good today .

after that , when we wanted to go home , mrs TAN gave us money for taxi ride back to tampines . bcos she tot that it was alrd late than we expected . we ended around 6 plus like that . at first we tot " lucky taking cab , no need to waste money & reach tamp quickly " . so we took a cab to tamp . skali duit tambang taxi tak cukup ! alamak . panic uhh . we were quite suprised cos the taxi fare wasnt enuf . so then , we told the uncle to stop us somewhere . bcos the fare reached to $17 or so , where we onli have with $15.40 . haha ! we took out everythg we have to pay the fare . then we explained & apologised to the taxi driver . lucky uncle very nice ! haha . so .. after alighted , we realised we were stuck at sumwhere near an abandon forest & a road . quite panic uh ! we didnt know where to go . but lucky it was near tamp alrd . so we decided to walk all the way till we see sunplaza park since sume duit tambang buat da limit . sorng2 da tinggal 55 cents je ckup2 for one bus ride home . but the funny part was when we were walking on a wet ground with puddle full of water , then suddenly hidayah didnt realise she stepped on algae which was slippery . the she slipped ! haha . u know about a saying , " dun laugh at others or karma will hit u back " right ? we were all laughing like hell when hidayah slipped . then one by one slipped also ! hahaha . gd thg DINA grabbed me when i was abt to fall . haha ! very funny ! also had the time to take pictures when the inccident happened & decided to put it on blog . after all that has happened today , we reached home at abt 7 + .. so , moral of the story , better take bus than cab . so u wont risk paying more ! haha ! had a good day today ! (;

all the best .

2008-11-13T05:43:00.000-08:00

recognise this person in the picture ? its Suhaimi (: well , known him since young . hehe ! takd luhh . his a friend . a gd friend . known him ble sec1 . we share thgs in the past . but lets just remain it as sweet memories k ? (; well , went to grad day then took a picture with him before he leaves junyuan . such friend shld be treasured . anw , wishing u gd luck in every single thg u do or want to achive . hope to see you outside , some where . (: all the best ! PS ; org blakang sebok . haha

thirsty shoe

2008-11-13T04:45:00.000-08:00

okey . now blogging time . i dont wanna blog too much tho i have soo much to talk about . well , what happen today ehk ? basically it 13 nov . & we student councillors help out & witnessed the sec4E & 5N graduation day . well . we helped out alot . from 830am in the morning till about 230pm the thg ended . & was soo tired walking around with chord shoes , or is it court shoes or cot ? haha . k , whatever . my command of english not that bad okey . so well , i wanna tell u somethg about these shoes i was wearing to sch just now . at first , i didnt realli know that i was suppose to wear blazers , since i was the only exco to wear it . in the morning , woke up , too tired , went to bathe , then wore my blazer suit not thinking am i suppose to wear like the other excos wearing sc shirt & skirt OR blazers . then after tht i went to board the bus . then suddenly i started to tink , " am i suppose to wear blazers ? then if the others were to wear smthg diff then i am then how ? like paisey like that come to sch then im the only exco to wear them " . then i started to panic . fuhh ! panic like hell . then i tried calling the excos , sume tk angkat , engaged luh this & that . but lucky i can get thru FIQAH . fuh ! but then she said she wore scT & skirt . alamak ! panic luh ! tros i msg del , tros she plak say she's wearing home clothes bcos shes the emcee . alamak ! lgy worse ! panic gle ! haha . then i come to sch amin2 i what i wore was right . then i walked in to sch , i stood beside iqah & asked whether i wore the right thg . then she say , " btol luh tuh ! u kan OIC for usher . " then i laughed . haha ! i feel soo paisey gtu . haha !

then ade lgy clumsy incident . today ths morning was raining right , i didnt know i brought an umbrella . so i walked from bus stop all the way to sch with my clothes + blazers some part wet . tros when i reach the front gate , i wanted to keep my phone inside my bag , THEN I SAW MY UMBRELLA ! stupid kan ? haha ! then i took it out & used it when i wanted to reach sch . haha .

another one , about my shoe inccident . haha ! i was quite late ths morning . then i quickly took any chord shoe i see not knowing that there were 3 of them . one was mine , one was my mum's & another one was my sister's which ws spoilt bcos she slipt on a huge stone . then the front part of the shoe slightly open . mcm kasut haus gtu ! nak koyak ! haha . then guess what i brought which one along ? i brought my sister's one along & straight away put it insde my bag ! then when i wanted to wear the shoes , then i realise the " kasut haus " .. haaha ! like paisey like that walking aroung wid a broken shoe ! but funny ! haha ! okey , i tink i talked alot alrd ((:

celebrate

2008-11-12T03:18:00.000-08:00

HAPPY SWEET SIX MONTH BABY ! LOVE YA LOTSA ! ILL BLOG ABT THE OUTING SOON . ((;

Angry

2008-11-11T05:21:00.000-08:00

okey . what the heck . tonight me & baby fought again . i was definitely , terribly tired like hell then i slept on the bed after i got dressed up . actualli today my family & i were suppose to go to uncle's place for donnoe what occasion . and i desparately want to go , to see my niece & nephews . becos i slept , my family left me alone at home . pissed off uh ! panas hati ! then da gtu , another problem ! baby didnt bother to msg to wake me up ! DARN ! i feel like shitt after tht . not even one msg he sent me . what is he trying to tell me ? u don't love me anymore ? well , thats FINE ! if u want , i can give u the permission to leave ! haiix . yur the only one who wakes me up or even bothered to send me an extra msg just to ask me my where & howabouts . but today , u realli gave me this impression that u don't darn care ! up to you luhh .. i just donnow what else to talk some sense to u . u alrd know me , if i were to be bz , ill definitely give u msg & say im bz . at least just give me a msg ke ape ? ITS ABOUT INITIATIVE ! sometimes , ask yurself , why thgs happen .

randomize

2008-11-11T04:42:00.000-08:00

ouh this bestfriend of mine .. arnia . love to crake me up . haha . i have no comment for yur tag . haha . just say i love gerimis just like i love the ppl i care about . ((: btw , the picture i drew on my book when i was angry . hehe . nice right ? i know . design student mahh . hehe . no offence , boys ! (;

drained

2008-11-11T00:30:00.000-08:00

im so damn tired with no such mood my backbone hurt my eyes feel like they are going to drop cos studied till about 2+ in the morning then dozed off till 5 then woke up again to study gosh im tired & dont feel like putting any punctuation marks to this post cos im tired of stopping my head realli hurts have been having these heavy headaches for months alrd body cramps all over & realli feel like vomitting right now i tink after this i wanna doze of realli cannot take it having my eyes open wide ive done my best for the bridging exam just hope my effort paid off anw goodbye ill be back to write a proper post damn im tired .

see how tired i am ?

what happen

2008-11-10T03:22:00.000-08:00

well , someone complained tht i like to use malay for my blog & she doesnt like it . right arnia ? hehe . kk , ill try use alil bit of malay & more english for dear readers . hehe . well , im trying to improve my malay also u know . bahasa ibunda kalo taq pass . haiyoo . my mummy will surely say , " u learn malay & yur father a malay , but still your not gd at your own language . gy blajar philippine sudah ! " hehe . okey okey . im starting with malay again . ill try my best ehk . (:

well , today nthg muchh . met with bby bcos i needed to burrow his maths text book . ive lost mine ! well , not lost luhh . somhow misplaced it sumwhere . then i asked him some thgs im unsure for maths . bcos tuesday im having my bridging test & it sucks ! gossshh .. then now , slacking jap , then i continue study again . well anw , back to the topic ..

today , actulli bby asked me somethg which he didnt know abt me . i told him i like gerimis .
he asked me why . then i said to find out in my blog . but i realised i havent wrote about it yet . well , to tell u da truth , i realli love gerimis . gerimis in english is .. [ fill in the blanks ] hehe .
to me , gerimis is light . its not as heavy as hujan lebat . gerimis to me is somethg innocent looking . but hujan lebat is 'deadly' . u play with heavy rain , ull surely get sick . i gurantee u . gerimis its not 'deadly' . its light like feather that touches your body & its light like the feeling of love . u just imagine , your in the light rain , spreding your arms wide with your eyes closed . its just the best feeling ever . the feeling & the fresh smell of little droplets of light rain drops to yur face as if you've just been hugged by someone . thats just the feeling . other than heavy rain , isnt it heavy & painful when u walk in the heavy rain where heavy rain drops hits your body ? i just wonder why bby loves the heavy rain so much .

changed for the better or good ?

2008-11-09T03:55:00.000-08:00

my observations , bby changed this week . changed as in his attitude . & i got so angry with him the whole week . i was mad like hell . some part of me just made me tink tht its my fault . but another says im not . that had got me confused the whole week . untill i didnt even rpl his msges . ntah luh . nak kate keliru psl diri sendiri , i tak tahu . keliru psl kelakuan dier? i pon tak tahu . sooo confused ! tapi me & bby agreed to forget everythg that has happend . cos its also the fact that this happens for a reason . it's our ups & downs . slalu nye kite yg tlg org . tapi now its our turn . our challenge . c'mon ! i have to be strong although im too tired to face this same situation like ive faced in the past . its exactly the same . the same damn thing . penaaat taw ! u tink what .

well , its my fault also . i terlalu panas baran . that , i cnt stop . kadang kadang , i make myself understand his position , then ble part i , he just couldnt understand , couldnt guess or knew what i really want . that i hate . tp i pon da brubah . itu i sedar . mmg i da brubah , tapi i cuba sedaya upaya i tak tunjuk kan dan cuba brubah alek . its always psl brubah . i just cldnt understand why . bby brubah . bby da tak mcm dulu . b dulu lebih penyayang then kite jarang gado . kalo gado pon , takd luh smpai serious mcm ni . knp sekarang b ?

tapi one thg i hate & i cldnt bring myself to tell him is his not taking any INITIATIVE at all alrd . okey , u imagine ehk . kalo u tak dpt jumpe yur mataer for maybe a week or two , then u ade chance nk jmpe hanya bsok je . u korban kn bola training atau meeting yur mataer ? mane satu important ? then i tny dier , bola tuh skali skala ke dalam hidup ? abeh mataer yg slama ni syngkn u nak ltak mane kalo u penting kn bola ? then biler nak jmpe i , stakat dua jam je . dua jam tak boleh ganti dgn satu minggu taw . tros i fed up . mmg i da maafkn dier lps tuh , tp , troooos dier start hal lgy . alamak . makin lamer makin tk kuat luh i jdnye . cis ! next problem jgak sbab dier tgok2 cuci mata kat pompan laen & terkasar & sikap kurangajar for the rest of the weeks remaining . then kite fikir its enuf . psl i btol2 da takle tahan lgy . then kte solve the problem cepat cepat . naseb baek it came to his senses that solving our problem is much more important that the training . u blng i ? mataer sape sei tak mara u penting kan bola dr mataer . nnti mataer terlepas , jgn menyasal ehk ! sbab itu juga kepercayaan i terhdp dier semakin kurang sbab kelakuan dier . tapi ...

then by end of the day , everythg starts to be fine SLOWLY . at least its pregressing altho kepercayaan i terhdp dier da tak sepanuhnye mcm dulu . tp i da ckp , trust can be gain again . asal kn tak ulang lgy kesalahan tuh , i can start to trust u fully like i used to .

dun wori b , thgs will get back to normal . &harap we would get back like we used to . i realli miss the old you ..

Random

2008-11-08T22:04:00.000-08:00

okey ppl ! link me pls ! ((: deleted my last blog bcos ade org spam my blog & ltak bende yg sungguh tak senonoh gtu . Link Link Link ! & leave comments if you wish to . Thank u (;

Unexpected .

2008-11-08T21:07:00.000-08:00

okey , i just feel like writing this . ive got this old friend of mine . we're friends for three years & still counting . sec1 nan 2 samer class . tros tibe2 sec3 sumer daa split up . can say that he's one of my best friend , till now . kite suke joke2 nan kcau kcau dulu . tros tibe tibe dier luah kn prasaan dier kat i ths yr . TERKEJUT ! eyy , sape sey tak terkejut u tell me ? he's like the typical guyfriend to anyone . & i tot the last time we were bestfriends forever . he said ,

he liked me after i was with someone & till i was with baby .

then i realli think its too late to love me now . i just dun want to hurt u . but i realli think u shudnt have liked me in the first place if u know u didnt had the guts to tell me the last time . sekarang i btol btol tak tahu ape nak buat . ive loved someone else . &your also my bby's bstfriend .

ive read your PM kat msn . sometimes what u say mcm u nga sindir i . but i didnt know who you were referring to . im sorry .

but i also have to agree that his also a nice guy . always helping me those days . missed thos times .

Bby's Birthday .

2008-11-08T20:55:00.000-08:00

okey , baby's birthday is coming up . my EXREMELY BIG BIG EVENT ! wee~ ! (: anw , im out of reach of time & so muchh to plan & do . this time i must keep everythg prepared , smooth sailing & well organised ! kalo tak , haiyooo . i tak tahu luh ape nak buat . i'll feel so helpless .i just want it to be a meaningful one for the both of us so we cld remember it & treasure it forever . tp kan , kalo nak tahu bby i a lil bit forgetful . i donnoe if he wld remember . thts why i nak uat ths special . sweet sixteen plak tuh . tp conferm nnti dier merengek kat i ckp i spent too much money luh tuh luh ni luh . kate sayang kan ? (: seven january , here i come ! (;

Prize Giving Day [ 24 oct ]

2008-11-08T20:40:00.000-08:00

nampak nye i takle elak dr prize giving day . its the most stressing , most heartbreaking & tiring sch event of all . & i cried , u know ! :( evrythg was SUPER EXTREMELY last minute ! bcos we're given all the details two days & a half before the big day . i was all under pressure ! fuuhh ! kite actualli da start prepare right after the exams . sekali si AM TAN ckp " err . evrythg will be confirm last minute . so be prepare " then we thought tak susah cume nak selit2 all the detail dalam the plan , skali ! alamak ! plan sume kene tukar , everythg was rescheduled . & alott , i mean ALOOOOT of the last min changes . lagi lagi i was the one who made the script . i didnt sleep for two straight days . i mean , tdo cume abt 1 hour je gtu . peeeeennnaaat sei ! then skali dapat tahu , my script SUME kene tkar . cos mdm fau didnt realli want it tht way . padahal at first , she wanted it to be like last year nye format , then i ikot uhh with skit skit nye changes . CIS BEDEBAR ! fed up i skejap . then i went to the central CC MCM ZOOOOMBIE ! abeh sape sei tak pnt , u tell me . 2 straight days tak sleep properly . pfft . then finally , the whole thg didnt went so well sbab the ushers sume not doing their jobs well . tsk . my day didnt end so great on tht day . fed up ade luh .

Tak Perlu . Random .

2008-11-08T20:33:00.000-08:00

okey , i rase kan . taya luh post benda benda lamer . whats past biar kn past luhh kan . tp sayang sei :( ade 40+ post kat blog lamer tuh . ey ! sape org tuh ehk yg spam my blog ! brani tarok name uhh ! alamak ! && sorrey for the empty tagboard . cos its new . comment pls (: mcm tak senonoh gtu kan ? tsk !

Damn It .

2008-11-08T20:23:00.000-08:00

okey . this is the new blog . i spent at least four hours plusssss doing ths new blog . goshh ! pening . i woke up at 5am sbab takle tdo then do the whole blog . mcm nak terkeluar mata i tgok laptop lamer lamer . its all bcos adee ORANG spam my blog ! like stupid gtu kan ? okey , u imagine ehk .. u nga tulis post tros " POOOF ! " . ble nak post je , suddenly ade alot of thgs yang bertapa sungguh nye merepek come out . ALAMAK ! fed up i jd nye . TAK SENONOH punye org . pfft ! now psl org tuh , i kene tulis the whole blog semula . kalo i maseh ingat . mcm idiot gtu kan ? then lgy i mls nak customize my blog skin . mls & frustrating . so i tot i nak ltak simplae simple nye blog skin . punye susah naaaaak carrriiik ! okey , now im off to post the old thgs tht was deleted . bodoh ! opps (:

labels

2008-11-08T17:54:00.001-08:00

hello !